Book Light Cure

Barb and I were waking up early in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep.  We were very annoyed and very tired.  Then I got the idea that Barb should get out her book light and read if she wakes up because she always goes to sleep when she reads in bed.  I thought that would be good for me too.  So we put our book light on our bed table beside us. That was all we needed.  When I woke up the next day, I said to myself, “I could just get my book light and my book and read if I wanted to”.  Then I said to myself, “Or I could just go back to sleep”.  So then I just went back to sleep without using the book light.

Lousy Canadian Dollar

Barb was trying to withdraw money from our Canadian bank account to deposit in our American bank account.  She wanted to get out $800 but the machine wouldn’t let her take it out.  It said that she had exceeded her daily limit.  Barb was confused because she hadn’t taken out any money and she should have a $1000 daily limit in the Canadian bank account.  Then the next day she realized that the Canadian dollar was so bad that $800 US was more than $1000 Canadian.  So she took out $600 and had no problem.

Crying Over Book

I finishing reading a good book called “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk”.  It was a black comedy about a troop of Iraq War heroes.  The author did a really good job of getting inside the head of a soldier and how crazy the ultra-patriotic Americans are.  It also had a lot to say about how crazy football fans and football games are in the United States.

The book had a funny ending where the troop was about to get screwed out of a movie deal by the owner of the Dallas Cowboys.  They had turned down his offer.  So he went over their heads to their General to get the General to order them to take the bad deal.  The Dallas Cowboys owner handed the phone with the General on the line to the sergeant.  It turned out that the General grew up near Pittsburgh and was a Steelers fan.  So he told the sergeant that the Dallas Cowboys owner could go screw himself.

I was telling Barb this story and I couldn’t hold back my tears of happiness for the fictional soldiers.  Barb thought that I cry over the strangest things.

Barb’s Library Problem

Barb is reading a series of murder mysteries by James Patterson.  They are quick reads and Barb is really enjoying them.  Unfortunately, she always finishes her current book on a Saturday night.  Then the library is closed on Sunday and Monday.  So she has to wait until Tuesday to get the next book in the series out of the library.

New Roof

We had a leak in our roof in the kitchen.  So we needed a new roof.  We booked roofers almost as soon as we arrived in Florida.  They finally got around to us in January.  They started the job one day when Barb was out.  I heard a lot of noise on the roof in the morning when I was trying to sleep.  There was a knock on the door one of the roofers asked me if we used our satellite dish.  I said no.  So he threw it out.  Later I was sitting in my chair working on the computer and a screw fell out the vent in the ceiling onto my head.  Then later I saw the lamp shade from the bathroom ceiling on the top of the toilet seat.  I left it there for Barb to see when she got home.  They really shook up the house.

Dillon’s Phone Call

Julia said Dillon wanted our email addresses to say “Hi” to us.  We sent our email addresses to him.  He emailed us to tell us he would like to phone that night.  We thought it was a little strange but had no problem with it.  When Dillon called, he asked for Julia’s hand in marriage.  He is a very formal fellow but we were very happy for him.  He said he was going to surprise Julia on Valentine’s Day.  They were going to rent an apartment together in March in the Glebe.  We talked for a long time.  It must have cost him quite a lot of money on his cell phone.

Barb’s Bank Card

We had to replace the roof on the house here in Florida.  So at the end of the month, we were a little short on money in our American bank account.  We were told we could take money out of the Canadian bank and deposit in the American account.  Unfortunately, neither Barb nor I had our bank cards for our Canadian account.  So Barb asked Julia to mail her bank card here.  Julia decided to send it Express Mail.  Julia said lady at the post office was in a bad mood when she went there.  Julia said we were not going to believe the size of the envelope the lady used.  Barb asked her how much it cost Julia.  Julia didn’t want to tell her at first.  She finally told Barb it cost $28 but she said Barb was worth it.

Bam Bam

A young couple moved in next door.  One day the neighbour asked Barb if she was Bam Bam.  Barb asked him where he heard that.  He said he plays shuffleboard with a couple who know Barb from pickleball and they had asked him if he knew Bam Bam.

Just Lucky

The first game of the softball season I went 5 for 5 at bat.  I only hit the ball well two times and I got three fluky hits.  They all count though and I got my name in the paper.  When I went to the park for the next game, some of the guys remarked on my good hitting.  There were also people in the park who read about it in the paper and congratulated me.

A Lack of Communication

I started the slow pitch softball season here in Florida.  I was going to share the driving to the park with another fellow from the community.  The first day he drove and I was supposed to drive the second day. He said his wife needed the car.  He wanted to leave at about 11:15 for a 12:30 pm game. 

Barb had the car in the morning for pickleball.  She thought the game started at 1:30 and didn’t know we were supposed to be there at 11:30 for batting practice.  She thought that if I left at 12:30 I would be fine. 

I waited for her to come home for a while.  Then I rode the golf cart over to my buddy’s house to ask him to drive.  When I got there, he said I thought you were driving today and I said I thought I was driving too.  I said there must have been some miscommunication with Barb. 

Barb came home at 12:30 and went to sewing at 1 pm.  My buddy’s wife went to sewing too.  She told Barb about needing the car to buy something for dinner because she had friends coming over.  My buddy’s wife said that she would just take something out of the freezer.

Barb was embarrassed and said it would never happen again. 

Silver Sisters and Reply All

Barb and her pickleball partner played in their first big tournament.  They played in the 4.5 level and lost in the finals to a team that she thought should be in the 5.0 level.

She sent out a photo of herself and her partner to all of her friends in Ottawa (both her pickleball friends and other friends).  Then her friends started congratulating her by sending emails back.  But they kept using the “Reply All” function.  So their congratulations were going to all the people in Barb’s original list.

Then one of the men on her list who was in the same tournament “Replied All” saying he had also won a medal.  Then people started to reply all to his email to all of Barb’s friends.  Barb was furious with all of these people using the “Reply All” feature without thinking about who they were replying to.

Julia’s School Decision

During the Christmas holidays, Julia emailed me to ask for some help with a life decision.  She had just started a new job as an office manager with a psychologist.  With the job at the tennis courts and her school work, she was run off her feet.  She wanted to know whether she should quit school. 

I sent her my decision support spreadsheet but I said it was pretty impersonal.  Also I told her about the flipping a coin strategy.  What you do is you think hard about your decision and then you say to yourself that you will flip a coin to tell you whether to do it.  If it comes up heads, you do it and if it comes up tails, you don’t do it.  Then you flip the coin but before you look at the coin, you ask yourself what you really would like to do.  Then you know what you really would like to do.

I don’t think she used the coin flip idea.  But she did try to use the spreadsheet and it said she should quit the tennis courts.  She said she wasn’t going to quit the tennis courts.  So she said that she should continue with the two jobs and her school.

Then she talked to Mom and she was telling Mom about how great school was.  So both Mom and I thought she had made a decision to stay in school.

Then emailed again and said she was still uncertain.  She asked me again what she should do.  I thought about it for a while and wrote back saying she should quit school. 

Then just before she quit school she phoned Mom and said that the school was trying to get her to stay.  She talked to Dillon and he reminded her that she had decided to quit school.

Finally, she quit school and quit the tennis courts. 

So now she has just one job working as an office manager for the psychologist.

Toaster Fire

Barb found a Panera store that sold great cinnamon bagels.  They sold them by the baker’s dozen (13).  They had a sale once a week but they were sold out early in the morning and there was usually a long line up to get them.  Barb found a way to order them online.  So she bought 13. 

When she got them home she found that they were too big to fit in the toaster.  They also had a lot of cinnamon on the outside of the bagel that fell off into the toaster. 

One day when she was toasting one, the toaster caught on fire.

Later at the trash and treasure, Barb bought a toaster oven specifically to toast her Panera bagels.  That way they would not catch on fire.

She also found a way to buy the bagels online and pay for them online so she wouldn’t have to wait in line in the morning.  She had to buy each bagel individually.  She had the option of having them sliced.  When she picked them up she found that she had asked for six to be sliced and seven not to be sliced.

Another Printer Problem

A lady from down the road came into the sewing club Barb was attending and mentioned that she couldn’t hook up her printer.  Barb hesitated to tell her I could help her.  She asked me first and I said sure.

So one day, the lady was walking down the road with her sister and their dog.  They walk by at the same time every day.  Barb ran out and called to her saying I could help her with her printer.  She asked if I could come over now.  I said sure.

I went over and she explained her problem.  I tried to use the software she had downloaded from the Hewlett Packard site but I didn’t get any farther than she did.  I tried adding the printer manually.  That didn’t work either. 

Finally, I tried something simple.  I turned off the computer and the printer.  Then I turned on the computer and hooked up the printer.  Then I added the printer and it worked perfectly.  She was amazed.