When the GPS Fails You

We have a GPS now.

 

Barb has found it indispensable when we are in Florida.

 

It will always get you to your destination but sometimes not the easiest way.

 

One of the things that Barb can never understand is why it will take us on one route going there and on a different route coming home. I tried to explain to her the subtleties of the mathematical concept of the “greedy algorithm” but that didn't seem to help.

The Truth Doesn't Hurt

I was riding my stationary bike in the basement. Julia and Dillon came downstairs to get some hot dogs for dinner. Dillon wanted to say 'hi' to me. So he came into my study. We talked for a long time about many things because he jumps from topic to topic quickly. He was just leaving but he wanted to tell me about his latest success story.

Apparently, a non-government organization that produces data for policy makers wrote a report about the positive impact they were having. I immediately thought of all the times that my organization at work had tried to justify their existence and the many times that I had tried to aggrandize my work for my Personnel Evaluation Report.

In this organization's report, they referenced people who had used their data. Dillon was proud of the fact that the first report they referred to was one he had written. I said in an off-handed way “They must have been desperate”. 

Julia was shocked that I would say such a mean thing but she thought it was very funny. She couldn't believe that I would put down Dillon so blatantly.

I immediately felt bad that I had insulted Dillon. Julia said that he wouldn't be offended. She asked him later about it and said that I felt bad. He said that he wasn't offended.

 

I guess for Dillon the truth doesn't hurt.

Unusual Family Rituals

We visited Barb's friend Barb Dankelson in Indiana for the August long weekend. 

On Sunday night, we had a big family dinner with her son and daughter and two grand children as well as Barb, Sarah and I.  Barb D. made her famous spare ribs and corn on the cob. 

The spare ribs were ready before the corn on the cob.  So Barb's son brought out the spare ribs.  He said we should start serving it up.  So I picked out a few ribs and started eating.  Barb's son said that he meant serve it up not eat it up.

When Barb D. finally arrived with the corn on the cob, we served that up too.  Then we all held hands in a big circle to say a prayer before we could started eating.

I am not used to these types of pre-meal ritual.

Out of Retirement

This year I played for the best team in the Glen Cairn Men's Fastball League. The team has the best pitcher in the league. We are not a good team but with him pitching we win all of our games. He is a big guy and an older fellow.

 

In the league tournament, we played one game on Friday night.  We were scheduled to play two more games in the round robin on Saturday.  Then the playoffs would be on Sunday.  We would need to play two playoff games to win the championship.

We won the first two games and were assured a playoff spot in the A Division.  Unfortunately, the afternoon game on Saturday was rained out. It was rescheduled for 8 am on Sunday morning. That would mean that to win the championship we would need to play three games on Sunday.

When I arrived to the ball park on Sunday morning, our pitcher came up to me and told me that I would be pitching.  It was a meaningless game in the round robin.  So he wanted to save himself for the playoffs later in the day. 

I had only pitched one game in the last two years. So I wasn't very excited about the prospect of trying to get people out.  I didn't even think that I would be able to throw strikes.

The first batter I faced hit a long home run. I walked a few batters.  They scored a few more runs in the first inning.

 

The outfielders were happy though.  Our regular pitcher strikes everyone out. So they never get to field the ball. They had to run around like crazy to field the balls the other team hit off me.

That same player who hit the home run in the first inning hit two more home runs off me in his next two at bats.

 

He came up for a fourth time in the last inning.  He hit a ball out of the park again.  It would have been a home run but it went foul. Eventually I walked him so that he didn't hit four home runs off of me.

We lost the game 9-5.

 

Then we lost the semi-final game in the A Division playoffs. We were eliminated from the tournament.

Barb's Computer Virus

Barb got an email from Paypal saying she had two suspicious transactions for $200 each. When she phoned the number for Paypal she asked how were they able to access her account. The Paypal lady said that the fraudsters must have her account number and password.  She said that she would start an investigation about the fraud and reverse the charges to Barb's account.

I checked Barb's computer. Her computer had a virus. I looked up the details about the virus. It said that this virus was able to access your financial information. When I used the virus scanner to remove the virus, it came right back when I rebooted the computer. Fortunately, Microsoft provides a one-time only scanner that could get the virus off permanently.

When I was telling my friend at the bar after fastball about Barb's problem, I said that Barb watches television through the internet. Sometimes she uses some sketchy websites. My friend said that was funny because it usually the husband that uses some sketchy websites.

Bank of America Fraud

Barb got a notification that someone had illegally used her Bank of America card number to purchase a $1 item in Burlington Ontario. She phoned the Bank of America to find out what it was all about. She was surprised that the purchase was in Burlington Ontario because that is where I grew up. The Bank of America said they would reverse the charge but Barb was supposed to destroy her debit card and they would send her a new one in the mail.

A couple of days later Barb received her new Bank of America card in the mail. When she looked at the bank account online she saw that the $1 purchase was reversed but the bank charged her $20 for an Express Post mailing of the card. So it cost $20 to reverse a $1 transaction.

Dreaming in my Blue Chair

I have been having trouble sleeping some nights. I wake up early in the morning.  I get out of bed quietly so that I don't wake up Barb. Then I go down to the living room where I read in my blue chair. Sometimes when Barb gets up for the day, I will go back to bed and try to sleep. Other times, I  try to sleep in the blue chair. One day I was up early.  Eventually, I went to sleep in the blue chair. While I was sleeping, I dreamt about going up to bed and sleeping.