Noisy Charger

Our golf cart is powered by electricity.  It has five big new car batteries under the seat.  We have a charger we can plug into the outlet on the side of the house.

 

Barb usually drives the cart beside the house on the neighbour’s grass and then through the gap in the trellises in front of the car to where the outlet is.

 

Today she drove up and parked the cart.  She plugged in the charger and it started to hum as usual.  So she went in the house for the evening.  Usually the humming stops when the cart is fully charged.

 

In the morning, the charger was still humming.  The cart looked charged.  So Barb didn’t know what to do.  Finally, she decided to unplug it.  The cart was still humming.  That was when she realized that the cart had been parked in reverse the whole time it was charging.

Handy in an Emergency

One of the guys from the park who plays softball came up to me today and said he had to talk to me.  He said he had a bicycle he didn’t need.  It was a fairly big.  So he thought it would fit me.  He also sees me walking around the park in the afternoon.  So he thought I might like to do some cross-training.

 

He said he would check that the tires were okay and if they were, I should come over and pick it up.

 

A couple of days later, I walked over to his house.  He had the bike ready for me.  I gave it a little ride around the block and then thanked him and rode home.

 

The bike was in pretty bad shape.  The tires were bald.  The wheels were rusted.  But I kept it.  Barb didn’t want any of the neighbours to see it.  So she hide it behind the car against the wall of the house.

 

One Wednesday morning, I was supposed to drive the guys to softball.  I often drove on Wednesdays because Barb plays pickleball at the park on Wednesdays and doesn’t need the car.

 

Barb took the golf cart down to play pickleball before I left.  I got ready to leave but I couldn’t find the car keys.  They were not on the hutch beside the door where I usually see them.  I looked around. Then I panicked.  The guys were waiting for me to pick them up.

 

So I quickly hopped on my bike.  I rode down to the tennis courts where Barb was playing pickleball.  I asked her where the keys were. She said she left them on the patio shelves.

 

I was able to ride my bike home and find the keys.  Then I picked up the guys and never told them about my panic.

What to do When Someone Doesn’t Pick Up

Barb was getting picked up by her friend Barb Zeeman for pickleball this morning because I needed the car to drive the guys to softball.  Barb didn’t think Barb Z. would be able to find our place in the park.  So she decided to drive the golf cart to Meredith’s house at the end of the road and then walk to the gate to meet Barb Z. there.

 

She phoned Barb Z. to let her know  she was going to meet her at the gate.  However, Barb Z. didn’t answer.  So she left a message.  Later she phoned again.  Again Barb Z. didn’t answer.  So Barb left a message.  Barb kept phoning and leaving messages.

 

Finally, Barb Z. showed up at the gate.  Barb explained how she was trying to get in touch with her.  Barb Z. said she doesn’t put her phone on in the morning, especially while she is driving.  When Barb Z. checked her phone she had six messages from Barb.

More Slapstick

I was packing to go to Orlando for a fastball tournament.  I put all my clothes in a suitcase.  Then when I picked up the suitcase to go, all my clothes fell on the floor because I hadn’t done up the zipper.

 

The next weekend I was packing to go to another fastball tournament in Orlando.  I put all my clothes in a suitcase.  Then when I picked up the suitcase to go, all my clothes fell on the floor again because I hadn’t done up the zipper again.

 

I think I have finally learned my lesson but we will have to wait until next year because there are no more tournaments in Orlando this winter.

Morning Comes Early

Barb and I like to read in bed at night.  However, Barb simply opens the book and falls asleep.  I will often have to wake her up to turn out the light when I put away my book and want to go to sleep.

 

I was away one weekend for a fastball tournament in Orlando.  Barb told me while I was away she had fallen asleep while reading and left the light on as usual.  However, when she woke up she thought it was morning because it was so bright in the room but it was still the middle of the night.

Then and Than

Barb can never remember which word should be used ‘then’ or ‘than’ when she is writing an email or a text message.  She is always asking me which it is.  I thought it was funny because I thought it was obvious.

 

Then Barb read a Facebook link with a list of commonly made grammar mistakes.  In it, they said that it was quite common to confuse ‘then’ and ‘than’  So I guess it is not as obvious as I thought.

Where’s the Beef

We use our little barbecue a lot.  We are very thankful to the previous owner of the house who gave us a flood lamp to hang over the barbecue in the evenings.  It gets dark here long before we get around to making dinner.

 

When we are barbecuing Barb takes out the steak in the afternoon to defrost.  She puts it on one of our middle sized plates and leaves it on the counter.

 

Tonight she picked up the plate to take it out to barbecue and then got distracted looking for something else.  So she put down the plate and the steak.

 

When she remembered she was going out to barbecue, she couldn’t find the steak.  She searched and searched.  How could she lose a steak when she just had it a minute ago?

 

Finally, she found it on the plate on her ironing board in the dining room; an obvious place for it.