Crazy Coffee Disaster

Barb bought us a new coffee maker.  For some reason, I can not remember to put the pot on the burner after I fill the coffee maker and turn it on.  I had made the same mistake a number of times.  So the last time it happened, Barb was on the phone.  So I made the coffee.  Then the lawn man came to the door to give her the bill.  Meanwhile, the coffee was overflowing, spilling all over the counter and sizzling on the burner.  Barb couldn’t do everything at once.  She screamed for me to turn off the coffee maker.  When everything settled down, Barb decided that she would make the coffee from now on.

Spring Forward Sunburn

Daylight Savings came into effect this weekend.  Barb thought her latest sunburn playing Pickleball was caused by the change to daylight savings.  I tried to explain to her that daylight savings was exactly the opposite.  She was getting up an hour earlier to play Pickleball.  So she shouldn’t be in the sun as much.  We went over it a number of times before we finally agreed her sunburn must have been caused by something else.

Sleeping In for a Change

Barb can never sleep in.  She is envious of me being able to sleep in and get a lot of rest.

 

So this past Sunday morning, she woke up.  She looked at her iPod.  It said 8 o’clock.  She was so happy.  She had slept in.

 

She went out to the kitchen.  She noticed that the clock on the coffee machine was wrong.  The clock on the microwave was wrong too.

 

Then she realized it was Daylight Savings Time.  She hadn’t slept in.  It was just the clock on her iPod had changed.

What I Wanted to See

Barb was playing a pickleball tournament on Saturday.  She got home early in the afternoon.  The girl's team at the college was playing a doubleheader.  It started at 1 pm.  So I decided to go to the second game thinking it would be starting at about 3 pm.

 

When I arrived at the game, I looked at the scoreboard and saw it was in the first inning.  My friend from the park, Kenny Ronco was sitting in his lawnchair watching the game.  I walked up to him and asked, "Who won the first game.?" He said, “This is the first game.”  I was confused.  I asked him, “What happened to the 1 o’clock game”.  He said, “This is the 1 o’clock game”.

 

Then finally I looked at the scoreboard again.  It said it was the seventh inning.  The score was 9 to 6.  I guess when I walked in I saw what I was expecting to see not what was really on the scoreboard.

Useless at Communication

My sister wanted to send Julia, Laura and Sarah St Patrick’s Day cards.  She asked me for Laura and Sarah’s address.  I said I had Sarah’s address but I didn’t know Laura’s address.  I said I would email Laura to get her address in Halifax.

 

So I sent an email.  I didn’t know what to title the email.  So I titled it “I Don’t Know Laura’s Address” and sent it to Laura.

 

Laura replied quickly.  She said she thought it was a cute title to the email.  She included her new address.  So I forwarded Laura’s email to Daphne and Barb.

 

Barb got the email.  She didn’t read the email right away.  She just read the title “I Don’t Know Laura’s Address”.  She said she didn’t know Laura’s address either.

 

Much later she read the email and found out that it was a reply from Laura with her address included.  She asked me why I didn’t tell her I had Laura’s address.  She thought I was useless at communication.

My Man

Every day at softball there are four teams playing two separate games.  There are four of us driving together.  So some of us are always finished before the others.

 

Usually, my team is last to finish.  One day my team was finished early.  I walked to Bill’s car and waited for his game to end.

 

When Bill came, I got in the front seat.  Gary said, “There is a Combat bag lying behind the car”.  I said, “Oh that’s mine”.  So Gary put it in the trunk.  It was good he did because Bill didn’t know it was there.  He would have backed up right over it.  Brian said “Ivan usually has his man take care of his bag”.

Bam Bam has a Problem

Barb plays the game of pickleball hard.  She doesn’t worry about the short game or the finesse shots.  She simply bangs the pickleball with all her might all the time.

 

The guys at pickleball call her Bam Bam.

 

However, Bam Bam has a problem.  She keeps breaking her pickleball paddle.  She has broken three already this winter.  Fortunately, the company that makes them takes them back and replaces them with new ones.  They say there must be a fault with the paddle but I think it just the beast of Bam Bam.