Saturday, 4 January 2025

So How Many Did You Guess?

 Could you tell which were the old stories and which were new stories? How many did you guess? Feel free to add a comment on the stories saying which you think are old ones and which are new ones.

Bob

 Barb was playing Pickleball today with a lady from New Jersey who was 'r' challenged. So, she would say, "Good shot, Bob" and "Here's the ball, Bob" and "It's your serve, Bob". So all of Barb's friends starting whispering to her, also calling her Bob. Barb and her friends had a hard time controlling themselves from laughing hysterically.

Lindsey and Nancy

 Our new neighbours are an old married couple. He is named Lindsey and she is named Nancy. He says he knows our names because they are on the sign on our lamppost. But he said he doesn't want to put their names on his lamppost, because people will think their a couple of gay girls living there.

Party On

 On one of my evening walks, I saw a bunch of people sitting on their driveway around a little portable campfire. I yelled at them "Party On!". One of the ladies yelled back, "Party On, Wayne!" So I yelled back, "Party On, Garth!" It was classic.

High School Reunion

 We were driving home from the pool in the afternoon and going around a corner to our house. I saw a guy get out of a RV in one of Barb's friend's driveway. Barb's friend is from Hamilton. I yelled at Barb, "Stop the car!" She stopped and I jumped out of the passenger seat and ran across the road to see the guy. He looked shocked. I said, "You're Paul Woolfrey, aren't you?" He said, "Yes, who are you?" I said, "Ivan Taylor, your old basketball buddy from Burlington Central". He said he didn't recognize me because he didn't have his glasses on. But he probably didn't recognize me because he didn't expect to meet me in Florida. What are the chances, we would be driving down the street from the pool when we seldom go the pool just as he was getting out of the RV during his week in The Villages, Florida on a golf holiday. Anyway, later in the week, we got together with him and Barb's friend for drinks and he shared all kinds of the most embarrassing stories about me from high school.

New Neighbours

 We heard from the lawn cutters that our new neighbours were Canadian. When they arrived, we asked them where they were from. They said Canada. We said where in Canada. They said Ontario. We said where in Ontario. They said Windsor. We said we are from New Hamburg and asked if they knew where that was. They said yes. They spent their whole life in Kitchener and moved to Windsor for their retirement. We said we lived for 30 years in Ottawa and moved to a retirement community in New Hamburg in 2015. They asked, "Did you move to Morningside?" We said yes, do you know it. They said her father lived in Morningside in his retirement.

Controlling Husband

 One of Barb's good friends just left her controlling husband who had kept Barb and her apart. Anyway, like a controlling husband, I asked Barb "When are you leaving?" Then I asked her "When will you be home?" Barb knew I wasn't a typical controlling husband and knew that eventually I would get to my point. Then I asked "Did she have time to cut my hair?"