Police State

The park used to be part of the county.  It has been annexed by the municipality.   

The first sign of the annexation was a radar system on the road flashing your speed limit as you drove out of the park.  The speed limit is 15 miles per hour.  Although that is very slow, I like to try to make the radar show exactly 15 on the display when I am driving.

The second sign of the annexation was a police golf cart.  We were told that two policeman would patrol the park once a day in their golf cart.

Big Brother is now watching us.

Betsy Again

I took Laura and Brad to the Kennedy Space Center.  Brad looked up the Kennedy Space Center on the GPS and we drove happily off.

We were driving for three hours and ended up in a suburban area.  Finally, Betsy the GPS said we had reached Kennedy Space Center Credit Union.

When I reprogrammed Betsy she said we were 45 minutes away from the Kennedy Space Center.  So we drove unhappily off.

Turtle’s Turn

There is a street in the park called Turtle’s Turn. 

While Laura and Brad were skateboarding they saw a turtle on the road.  Laura stayed with the turtle while Brad came back to the house to get his camera.  They were very excited about it.

The turtle wasn’t on Turtle’s Turn though.

Paging Sarah Taylor

We were worried when we ran into a traffic jam on the highway on the way to the airport with Sarah for her return trip to Canada.

Fortunately, we got through fairly quickly.  We got to the airport in lots of time.  There was no one in the check-in line at Westjet.  Sarah checked her bag and picked up her boarding pass.

Barb had been busy on the drive from home to the airport trying to finish knitting a complicated scarf for Sarah.  Time was ticking.  Barb continued to knit in the airport lobby. Sarah wanted to get through security and to her gate.  We told her she had lots of time. 

Barb finished the scarf and took some pictures of Sarah wearing it.

Then we went to security.  Since we were sitting on the other side of the lobby, we hadn’t seen the line-up at security.  It was very long and moving very slowly.

Fortunately, they put a couple extra guards on to make more lines.  Sarah got through security with ten minutes to get to her gate.  But she had to take a train to the other terminal.  Then her gate was at the very end of the terminal.

Barb and I was Sarah go through security and waved good-bye.  Then we went to look at the departure board.  It said the flight was in last call.  We waited for a little while and then the board said the gate was closed.  We were worried that Sarah had missed the flight.

We waited for the flight to take off.  Then went home half expecting to arrive home to find that Sarah had called us to come back to the airport and pick her up. 

When we got home Sarah had messaged us.  She said she made it to the gate three minutes before it closed.  The public announcement system was paging her as she arrived.

Daylight Robbery

When we go to Orlando to pick up someone at the airport, Barb likes to go to Costco.  The Costco in Orlando is the closest one to us.

We are always in a rush because it closes so early in the evening.  We got to Costco this year an hour before closing.  Barb was rushed trying to find her Costco card at the door.

She finally found her card and showed it to the man at the door.  Then we walked in the entrance.  Then we snuck around to the exit to the food court because we were hungry.  We wanted something fast because we didn’t have much time.

There was a line up at the food court. Barb went to use the washroom.  I stood in line.  When she came back I was still in line.  So I took my turn to go to the washroom.

I was in the washroom and I heard a woman in the women’s washroom screaming that she had lost all her money.

I went back to the line and found out that the panicking lady was Barb.  She told me that all her money and her credit cards were gone.  Her purse pocket where she usually puts her money and credit cards was unzipped and the pocket was empty.

Barb ran to the entrance to talk to the man there because that was the last place she had seen her money and cards.  The man said that he hadn’t seen anything that was dropped.  He told her to go to the customer service desk where they have a lost and found.

While she was waiting at the desk, she found her money and her cards in another pocket in her purse.  I guess she took the cards out of her usual pocket to show the man at the entrance but in her fluster she put them back in a different pocket.

Laura to the Rescue

Laura’s boyfriend, Brad, is a skateboard-aholic.  He likes to skateboard.  He brought three skateboards with him.  He worked for a skateboard manufacturer in Vancouver.  He is taking photography in school this year so that he can work for the manufacturer filming skateboard demonstrations.  So he spent most of his time here studying skateboard videos on the internet.

One day he was assembling his skateboard on the couch.  He asked Laura if she had seen his skateboard tool.  He couldn’t find it and was searching the house.  He was panicking.

Laura was calmly sitting on the couch.  She pulled up the cushions and reached into the couch. She pulled out his skateboard tool.  Laura to the rescue.

Swimming with Sharks

My sister and her husband have a tradition of going to the beach on Christmas day.  We all went this year.

There were many people on the beach wearing Santa hats.  There was even a family who brought a Christmas tree.

We saw two dolphins swimming close to shore.  There was a man swimming and trying to catch up to them. They swam too fast.

I always think of sharks when I see the dolphin's fins in the water.

Something in Common

Laura went the book signing of Nick Offerman’s autobiography.  He is a star on the popular television show Parks and Recreation.  His autobiography was a New York Times bestseller.  She bought me an autographed copy of the book for Christmas.

In the show, he plays a Tea Party Republican.  So I didn’t think I would have anything in common with him. 

I read the first page.  He said he was born in 1970 the year that Randy Newman released his 12 Songs LP.  That was one of the first LP’s I ever bought.  I love Randy Newman.  Maybe I have more in common with him than I thought.

Best Cart in the Parade

We rushed home from Solomon’s Castle in time for the Christmas Golf Cart Parade at the park.

We only had 15 minutes to decorate the cart and get festively dressed.  Barb brought out the left over wrapping paper.  I hung beads on the roof of the cart.  We hung the stockings on the back and put a bow on the front.

Then Laura and Brad got dressed in red and green.  They rode their skateboards behind the cart holding on for dear life.

Everyone in the park thought that our cart was the best cart in the parade.  Imagine if we had planned it.

The Interrogator

The owner of Solomon’s Castle makes amazing art out of recycled stuff.

After taking a tour of the Castle and seeing all the art work, we were told that Solomon might be working in the afternoon in his workshop.  We could go and see him work there after lunch.

We went to his workshop.  He was there and working.  I didn’t want to disturb him.

Barb asked him a few questions.  He appeared to like answering questions and didn’t mind being interrupted.  He came over to the door of the workshop where we were standing and answered all of Barb’s questions, even questions about his love life.

When we were leaving the workshop, Barb said if she hadn’t asked those questions, none of you guys would have asked any questions would you?  We agreed.  Barb is the interrogator of the family.  She would make a great detective.

An Honest Man

Barb and I took Sarah, Laura and Brad to an amusement park called Solomon’s castle.

After going on the tour, we decided to have lunch.  Solomon’s castle has a famous restaurant on the site called the Boat on the Moat.

We all had big lunches.  They were good but they weren’t cheap.  We tried to figure out how much it would cost.  We estimated it would be about $85. 

When I got the bill, I couldn’t figure it out.  It looked like it was bill for one person.

I took the bill to the cash register.  The man keyed in the bill and asked for $15. 

I said that can’t be right.  I said we had five lunches.  He asked the waitress.  She looked at it and then she went through the other bills.  She found the correct bill.  It was for $86.

They thanked me.  They were very happy that I was an honest man.

The Thinking Chairs

I have a big lounge chair in Ottawa that I spend my time sitting in.  There is a matching lounge chair where Sarah used to do her homework in.  Sometimes she would fall asleep in the chair.  Sarah calls them the thinking chairs.

Barb bought two big lounge chairs for us in Florida.  I spend all my time in Florida sitting in my chair.  Barb has the other lounge chair.

When Sarah visited she took over the other lounge chair.  She did some thinking with me and she did some sleeping too.

Slapstick

My sister came over to visit while walking the dog.  She wanted to meet Sarah, Laura and Brad.  She didn’t want to bring her dog into the house.  So she and the dog stayed out on the porch and everyone went out to visit there.

Brad came in from the porch and closed the screen behind him so that the dog wouldn’t come into the house.  Laura followed him.  She walked right into the screen door and bounced back.

This was the first time Barb has ever laughed at slapstick humour that I can remember.

Sarah’s Famous Friend

Sarah has a friend that she used to play basketball with when I was coaching her team.

Her friend is a mocha coloured girl. Barb thought she had the thinnest ankles she had ever seen.  

The last I heard about her, she was doing some modelling.

Sarah was friends with her on Facebook.

Recently, her friend put a posting on Facebook of her in the video for Beyonce’s new single.  She played a beauty contestant.  There was a photo of her standing behind Beyonce.

The Long Way Home

Whenever we go to the Orlando airport, we go a different route.  We don’t know why.  We just follow the GPS which we call Betsy.

On the way home from the Orlando airport with Sarah, the GPS led us through the back roads of Florida.

We were out in the middle of nowhere.  We even were taken through a construction area where there was only one lane for quite a while.  If there had been a car coming in the other direction we wouldn’t have known what to do.

We had gone quite a way and had no idea where we were but we had to continue following Betsy.  Barb was very frustrated with Betsy.

Finally, we got on a highway that we recognized.  We knew our way home from there.

Barb looked at the settings on Betsy.  She noticed that Betsy was set on “shortest distance” not “fastest route”.  That was why we were sent across country and not on a highway.

Closing the Place

Barb and I were waiting for Sarah’s flight to arrive at Orlando airport.  It was delayed in Ottawa because of heavy snow.

Barb decided to look through the magazines in the bookstore.  I saw her go in.  Gradually, the store emptied out and the workers started to clean up.  They closed the folding doors.

I was worried that Barb would get locked in because she was at the back of the store. She didn’t notice that they were closing up.

Finally, she wandered to the front of the store and noticed the folding doors almost shut.  There was just a small space to get out.

The guys cleaning up said she could stay and help them clean up.  Barb just thanked them and squeezed out.  She didn’t even buy anything.

The Wrapping Genius

Barb was busy preparing for Sarah and Laura’s visit for Christmas.  She asked Ivan to help her by wrapping the Christmas presents for Sarah, Laura and Laura’s boyfriend Brad.  She gave him four rolls of wrapping paper.

There were no labels so Ivan wrapped all of Sarah’s presents in one style of wrapping paper, all of Laura’s presents in a different style of wrapping paper and all of Brad’s presents in a third type of wrapping paper that way, each of them could easily figure out who’s presents were who’s.

Barb thought this was genius.

Adventures in Heating and Air Conditioning

It became a little colder.  We finally broke down and turned on the furnace.  It didn’t work.

Barb and I asked around.  A friend of Barb’s friend was a bit of a handyman.  He said he would look at it when he had time.

We waited a few days.  He finally got around to looking at it.  He found that there was a rusted diode and he cleaned it up.  Then the furnace worked.  He had to go out of town but said he would replace the diode when he got back.

Then it became a lot warmer.  Barb turned on the air-conditioner.  Now it didn’t work.

Our handyman wasn’t going to be back for a while.  So barb called an air-conditioning and heating company. 

They sent a man out the next day.  He tried to fix the system but had trouble.  He called the head man.  He used his phone to send the head man pictures of the system.  The head man had some trouble figuring out what to do as well.  Finally after a few hours they figured out what to do and the repairman replaced a part.  Apparently was not the exact right part.  However, we now had air-conditioning and heating but it had cost us quite a bit.

The next day it became cooler outside.  Barb turned off the air-conditioner.  Unfortunately, now the fan wouldn’t turn off.

Barb called the company back.  They sent out two men this time.  They worked on it for quite a while and replaced another part.  They also sold us a new thermostat.  It cost even more but finally everything seemed to be working just in time for the visit of Sarah and Laura for Christmas.

The Ants Come Marching In

We had the outside of the house power washed.

A couple of days later, Barb noticed an ant on the kitchen counter.  Barb thought the power washing had created a hole in the wall for the ants to get into the house.

I said you never see just one ant.  Soon there were hundreds of ants trailing from the window along the kitchen counter.  Barb tried to plug the hole in the window with some duct tape.  It didn’t work.

Barb called the bug exterminator.  A guy came over the next day.  He said they were ghost ants.  There were very small.  So you couldn’t really plug the hole they were coming in.

He set an ant trap.  Then he found the trail the ants were marching along and the source of the ants.  He sprayed the trail.  As he was leaving, he said they should be gone in a few days.  If they weren’t gone in 10 days, we should phone them back.

In 10 days, they weren’t gone.  Barb phoned them and the guy came out again.  He set another trap and sprayed again.

In a few days, they were gone.

The guy from the exterminator said the ants were coming in looking for water because it had been such dry months in November and December.

We got a lot of rain at the end of December.  Although I’m sure the exterminators were good, maybe now that there was rain, the ants were not thirsty enough to bother coming into the house.

Car Repair

One day a person at the park followed Barb in his car.  When she stopped he told her that her rear brake light was out.

I asked my sister who I could take the car to to get the bulb replaced.  She said that I could do it myself if I looked it up on Youtube.

I looked up how to replace a brake light on a Honda Civic.  It seemed pretty easy.  It would only take a few minutes.

I told Barb I would go to a car parts store, pick up a bulb and replace it.  She reminded me of the time I tried to replace the headlight on our Toyota Tercel a few years ago.  I didn’t do it correctly.  It burned the casing which cost us a lot to replace.

So I looked up a garage close by where Barb could take the car.

She bought the car in while on one of her errands.  She expected to get the bulb replaced while she waited.  She thought is would cost about two bucks for the bulb and they would replace it for free.

The owner of the garage took the car away and replaced the bulb.  He brought the car back and charged Barb $15.  Barb was surprised but paid him in cash.  He put the money in his shirt pocket. 

Barb thought he ripped her off because she was a stupid Canadian.  She wasn’t going back there ever again.

Practical Joke?

Five of us guys from the park carpool together to slow pitch softball practices on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  There is a batting practice followed by an exhibition game.

After the exhibition game one day, myself and one of the guys were waiting for the other guys to finish their game on the other diamond. 

I had changed from my running shoes into my cleats at one side of their diamond.  I left my shoes under the bleachers where I left my softball equipment bag.  After my game, my running shoes were not there.  

There were a number of guys including one of the guys from our park on the other side of the diamond sitting in the bleachers.  So I went over and asked them if they had seen my running shoes.  There was a pair of running shoes on that side of the diamond.  I thought they belonged to one of the guys there.

Eventually the game ended and all the guys left.  Nobody took the running shoes.  I thought someone had taken my shoes and left these ones behind.

When I got to the car, one of the guys asked me whose shoes I was wearing.  I said I didn’t know.

When I got home, I told Barb the story.  She looked at the shoes that I brought home and said they were obviously my shoes.  They were the same make and had the same type of insert in them.

They were definitely my shoes but I have no idea how they went from one side of the diamond to the other side during the practice.

Early Bird

Last winter, we bought a used golf cart.  It had new batteries but old wiring.  We had trouble with the golf cart soon after we bought it.  Fortunately, there is a man in the park, named Don McNish, who has a business refurbishing golf carts.

He was able to fix the wiring problem by replacing one of the five diodes that was rusted.  He told us that it might be a temporary fix because the other diodes may need to replaced later.

This year we had the same problem with the golf cart.  Barb called Don.  He said he would come over to fix the cart on Sunday.

Barb gets up at around 8 am every morning.

She waited around the house all day on Sunday for Don to come over to fix the golf cart.  Finally in the late afternoon, she phoned Don to ask him if he was coming over.  He told her he had already fixed it.  He came over at 7:30.  He left his bill on the steering wheel of the golf cart.  He did not want to disturb us by knocking on the door.

When you live in a retirement village, you have to expect everyone to be an early bird.  Old people are notoriously early risers.

Fortunate Mistakes with Tech-Toys

My iPod battery was always dying on me when I wanted to use it.  Barb decided to get me a new one.  She investigated the sales on ebay.  She found a good deal on a 16G 4^th generation.  The seller said that his company bought it for him but he never used it.  So he gave it to his wife but she didn’t use it either.  So he was selling it and it was just like new.  So Barb bought it.

It came in the mail in a few days.  I excitedly initialized it.  I set up my email and my apps.  However, the new iPod battery was even worse than the old iPod at holding a charge.

So I did some investigation on the internet.  I found some information about iPod batteries going into “deep discharge state” if they are stored for a few weeks with no charge.

Barb emailed the seller.  She complained that the battery on the iPod was not good. She mentioned the “deep discharge state” information.  Barb thought that because the iPod was never used it was probably stored without a charge and the battery went into a deep discharge state.  She said she wanted her money back.

The seller wrote back saying the battery was fine.  It sounded like he wasn’t going to give us our money back.  So Barb started a complaint on ebay about the problem.  Ebay said we should try to work it out with the seller and if we couldn’t work it out in couple of weeks to our satisfaction, they would take action.

I prepared the iPod to return to the seller.  I initialized it back to factory settings.  Then we waited a few days.

After a while, I noticed the battery lasted a lot longer now that it was reset.  So I did some more research.  I found out that the apps that I had installed were draining my battery.  So the new iPod battery was fine and my old iPod battery worked fine too once I removed the apps.

Barb wrote to the seller.  She said we had found the problem and everything was okay now.  He said he was happy that everything worked out.  Barb was embarrassed about sending him the earlier email.  She cancelled the ebay complaint she had started.

Now I had two iPods. 

The funny thing was that Barb’s iPod that she uses even more often than I do started giving her trouble.  One day the on/off switch wouldn’t work.  She panicked because she had all of her contact phone numbers stored on her iPod and didn’t have a paper copy.

Fortunately, we were able to finally get it to turn on.  I backed it up on my computer.  Then I restored the files from the backup on my new iPod and gave it to her.  Barb was very happy to have a working iPod again.  So we really did need a new iPod.  Everything worked out fine for both of us in the long run.