A Dream that Almost Became Reality

Sarah was getting a ride from Deep River with one of the other student’s sister.  However, they would be going to Carleton Place which is 45 minutes away from Barrhaven. Barb and Ivan would have to drive there and pick her up late on Friday night.

Barb spent the evening on Google Maps trying to find the best route to Carleton Place from Barrhaven.  Barb didn’t want Sarah to have to wait while her and Ivan drove there.  So Barb tried to reach Sarah to find out where she was and when she would be arriving in Carleton Place so that Barb and Ivan could meet her there when she arrived.

Sarah wasn’t answering her phone calls from Barb.  Barb asked Ivan if they should just start driving to Carleton Place.  As usual Ivan didn’t have an opinion.  Finally, Barb got in touch with Sarah, Barb asked her where she was.  Sarah told Barb she was in Barrhaven and would be home in a few minutes.

It turned out the girl’s family lived in Bell’s Corners in West Ottawa only a few minutes from Barrhaven.  Carleton Place was all a dream.  Barb was very happy she hadn't convinced Ivan to start driving to Carleton Place to meet Sarah.

Saved by The Family Man’s Daughter

With all the things that were going on, Ivan forgot his wedding anniversary for the first time in 28 years.  Fortunately, he was saved by Barb’s good memories of the movie The Family Man in which the Nicholas Cage character supposedly forgot his wedding anniversary and he was helped out the hole he was in by a four year old with a funny voice.  Although, Ivan felt bad, warm memories of The Family Man movie helped Barb forgive him.

Lecturing Friends of Friends

Sarah sent Ivan an email about a lecture she was going to at Atomic Energy being given by a scientist from National Defence.  She wanted to know if Ivan knew him.  Later she phoned to see if Ivan had received her email.

Ivan looked at the email and although he didn’t know the lecturer, Ivan thought his friend David Waller might know him.  He wrote a reply to Sarah’s email.   

The next day he was talking to David Waller and asked him about the lecturer.  David Waller said he did know the lecturer well.  He worked in the office next to David.  They had been friends for 18 years and David had been part of his wedding party.  Ivan sent Sarah another email telling her this story.

Sarah went to the lecture on Friday.  Unfortunately, Sarah never received Ivan’s emails.  The emails had gone into her Junk Mail folder.

Double Her Money

Sarah is organizing a team for Relay for Life again this year.  The team consists of Atomic Energy co-op students and call themselves the Nuclear Power Rangers.

She set her goal to $500 and asked Barb and Ivan to send out the link to her personal page to their friends.  Barb thought Sarah had set her goal too low.  Sarah soon had more than $500 in donations.  Sara raised her goal to $1000 dollars.  She soon had more than $1000 in donations.

Barb got a note from her friend Linda Becker saying she had donated to Sarah’s cause but had doubled her original donation when she read Sarah well written personal cause based on her story of Gramma Taylor’s fight with cancer when Sarah was a baby.

Memorable Barb

Sarah needed a car in Deep River.  Barb and Sarah went out one weekend and found a 2003 Honda Civic with low mileage and no rust.  It was private sale from an Indian lady named Panda.  Panda was selling the car after only owning it for a few months because her husband had found a job in United States.

Sarah bought the car but wouldn’t get it until Panda was moving.  Barb had to sign the paperwork as if she was buying the car to get the license and the insurance.

Just before Sarah was coming to Ottawa to pick up the car, Barb went out to get the license.  The lady at the Service Ontario remembered Barb from many years ago when Barb bought her Honda Civic.  Barb must be very memorable.

Barb bought license plates for Sarah.  The ladies behind the counter competed to see which one of them could pick the most memorable license plates.  One lady found one with BTXW 499 on it.  Barb thought she would remember 499 because that was a common sale price for the things she buys.  She could remember BT because it stands for Barb Taylor.  But what would XW stand for.  One lady said Ex Winner.  Barb took offense from that saying she was still a winner.  Then the other lady said Extra Witty.  Barb agreed she was extra witty and took the license plates.

Julia’s Baby

Barb was out and Julia was home.  Ivan had to go out to get a cheque signed to pay for the umpires for his fastball league.  He asked to borrow Julia’s car.  Julia affectionately calls it her baby.

Ivan drove to Kanata to get the cheque signed.  When he left the fellow’s house, Ivan found he couldn’t start Julia’s car.  He knew the wheels had to be aligned to turn the key.  But he couldn’t straighten the wheels.  He became worried he had broken Julia’s baby.

Ivan sat out in the driveway trying over and over to straighten the wheels and turn the key.  After about fifteen minutes, Ivan went back to his buddy’s house and knocked on the door.  He told his buddy he couldn't start the car and asked him what he should do.  His buddy came out to the car.  He said he used to have a Nissan Sentra.  He got in the car.  Giggled the steering wheel and turned the key and it started first time.  Ivan felt very relieved and very embarrassed.

Bobby Dubbs

Sarah has been working at the Atomic Energy Canada facility in Chalk River for four months.  It is only two hours from Ottawa.  She is living with 14 other co-op students.  One of them is from Ottawa and comes home almost every weekend.  So Sarah bums a ride off him and comes to Ottawa most weekends.

One weekend when Sarah was home, she asked Ivan about Bob Walker the President of Atomic Energy Canada.  She had just found out that Bob Walker had worked in the Department of National Defence before he came to Atomic Energy.

Ivan said yes he knew Bob Walker.  Ivan had worked closely with him on the High Arctic Research Station Location study.  Sarah said that she thought Bob Walker was cool.  All of the co-op students lovingly called him Bobby Dubs.

The Man at the Kiosk is Psychic

When Ivan came back to Ottawa, he had forgotten how to use the bank machine.  He put in his Mastercard and tried to withdraw money.  The machine wouldn’t let him.  After trying a few times, Barb told him that he needed his debit card not his credit card.  He looked around the house for his debit card and couldn’t find it.  So the next time he was out, he went to the PC Financial kiosk and got a new bank card.  The man who gave him the card said it would probably turn out to be somewhere obvious.  With the new bank card, Ivan withdrew some cash.

A couple of days later, Julia knew Ivan was going to walk to the bank to deposit his tax refund.  She came to Ivan to give him a cheque for her Zumba classes that Barb paid for her over the winter using Mastercard.  Then she looked in her purse and pulled out Ivan’s bank card to return it to him.  He had left it with her for the winter in case any cheques came in for him while he was in Florida.  He had forgotten.  The man at the kiosk was right the bank card was someplace obvious.

Podcast Confusion

Ivan likes to listen to Podcasts when he goes for his afternoon walks.  Today his Podcast sounded funny.  It was playing faster than it should have been and the people’s voices were high pitched.  Ivan thought there must be something wrong with the iPod.  When he got home from his walk, he hooked up the iPod to his computer.  The iPod wouldn’t connect.  He tried to restore the iPod to the factory settings and it wouldn’t restore.  So he searched the web to find out what to do.  He tried reinstalling iTunes.  That didn’t help.  Then he looked at Windows Updates.  After updating Windows, he was able to restore the iPod to factory settings and it worked properly again.  The next day he went for his walk listening to his Podcasts and the problem started again.  He pulled the iPod out of his pocket and noticed a small indicator light on the iPod that said 2X.  When he pushed it, the light went out and the iPod flipped back to normal.  So it didn’t need a restore or a Windows Update after all.

Another Coffee Story

When Ivan went out, he noticed the coffee pot was half full.  When he came home, the coffee pot was still half full.  So he decided to make another pot.  He took the coffee pot off the burner and poured what he thought was old coffee down the drain.  But he noticed that something was funny.  The coffee was still hot.  Then he realized that Barb had just started another pot.  The half full pot was new coffee which he had just poured down the drain.  When Ivan told Barb what had happened, Barb was amazed he hadn’t noticed the difference between old cold coffee and new hot coffee.

A Computer Genius?

Ivan didn’t trust Windows XP any more now that is no longer supported by Microsoft.  The network printer was hooked up to one of the Windows XP computers in the basement.  Ivan decided to buy a new router with a USB port, so he could hook the printer directly to the router rather than have it connected to a computer.  So Ivan bought a new router, installed it and hooked up the printer.  He tested it out.  Everything looked fine.  So he filled the paper tray and went to bed.  The next day when Ivan got up, Barb broke the bad news to Ivan.  The printer installation was screwed up.  When Barb tried to print a quilt pattern, it printed multiple copies and would continue printing until it ran out of paper.  Fortunately, Barb noticed that something was wrong and was able to turn off the printer.  But when she turned it back on it continued printing.  So she turned it off and left it off until Ivan woke up.  Ivan searched the internet and found the problem.  He needed to unclick a switch on the printer setup.  Then it worked fine.

Wearable Art

Laura posted a newspaper article on Facebook from Halifax on her wearable art show.  There was a picture of her in the article looking at some of her creations.  There was a very good description of how Laura works.  Laura had five pieces in the wearable art show.  When they asked Laura how she gets so much done, Laura is quoted as saying “I don’t sleep”.  That is so true.  Then Laura posted a clip from the television news in which Laura was modelling her wearable art.  She looked great.  Her other models were contortionists from Atlantic Cirque.  They came down the runway doing bizarre moves.  One girl walked on stilts.  Laura’s wearable art was the hit of the fashion show.

Buying in Bulk

When Barb sees something she likes in a store, she buys it in bulk because she is afraid it might not be there the next time she is in the store.  Today she came home with 14 containers of olive hummus.  Now Ivan and Barb can continue their practice of eating hummus and tortilla chips for a midday snack without worrying about running out.

Easter Tradition Lives On

Barb found a large box of Lindor chocolate balls on sale at Costco.  She decided Ivan and her should hide them this weekend for Julia to find as if they were Easter Eggs.  So Ivan and Barb hide them; some in well hidden places and some in wide open places.  When Julia didn’t notice them, Barb had to give her some hints.  Finally, Julia found her first Lindor ball and realized they were hidden as Easter Eggs.  While Julia was looking for the Lindor balls, she found a Crème Egg.  Barb remembered the year that she hid the Crème Eggs and she remembered one wasn’t found.  So one Easter runs into another.

Child Proofing

The United States doesn’t have the same child safety system as Canada.  So when Barb got home, she found the barbecue wouldn’t light when she used the lighter.  After a few near explosions, Barb realized Canadians have a child safety feature on their barbecue lighters.  You have to push a button and pull the trigger to get the lighter to light.  Barb thought this was another case of child safety that was dangerous for adults.

Like a Duck in Water

Julia was giving out free magazines at the tennis club for a couple of months.  One of Barb’s friends noticed an article on Pickleball that mentioned Barb’s name as the Regional Champion.  The article quoted Barb as saying she took to Pickleball like a duck in water.  She was misquoted it should have been she took to Pickleball like a duck “to” water but you can not believe everything you read.

Rest in Peace

On the second day of their trip home from Florida, Ivan was stopping at a rest stop.  He put on his indicator to pull off to the right.  Then when he went into the rest stop, he was looking for a place to park.  He found one on the left but his right indicator was still blinking.  Someone in a real hurry decided to pass them just as Ivan was about to pull in to the parking spot on the left.  The person was driving really fast and almost sideswiped the car.  It was a close call and Ivan and Barb were lucky they didn’t rest in peace in the rest area.

More Forgetfulness

When Ivan is at the self-service gas station and finishes pumping the gas while waiting for the receipt, he usually puts the gas cap on.  However, if anything distracts him, he will forget to put the gas cap on.  Barb and Ivan stopped for the first time on their drive back to Ottawa.  Barb went into the service center to use the washroom while Ivan filled the tank.  When Barb came out she saw Ivan getting into the car and thought he wasn’t finished pumping the gas because the gas cap was still hanging out.  Fortunately, Barb had come out of the service center on the side of the car to notice it and they didn’t lose the gas cap. 

A Gun to Her Head

Barb likes to use emoticons on her imessages.  This time things went a little astray.  Barb was texting with her friend Debbie from Trenton and at the same time with her Pickleball friend Barb Yandell.  Debbie asked Barb if she was happy to be going home to Ottawa soon.  Barb Yandell asked Barb is she was playing Pickleball tomorrow.  Barb sent a message NO with an emoticon of a person with a gun to their head.  Unfortunately, she sent it to Barb Yandell and not her friend Debbie.  It took some explaining to Barb Yandell to get her out of trouble.

What Can $100 Buy

Barb shops at Walmart for almost everything.  How many times do think you would have to go to Walmart before you got a bill of exactly $100?  Today Barb went to pay her bill and it was exactly $100.  The cashier said that she had never seen that before.

Fruity Salad

Ivan is responsible for making the salad every night in Florida.  He cuts up lettuce, green peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes and carrots.  Then on top he puts crushed pecans, chopped apples and craisons.  Sarah liked it so much when she visited in December she decided to make fruity salads when she went to Deep River to work on her co-op term.  Sarah would regularly send Barb photos of her dinners by email or imessage.

Computer Committee

Barb’s friend Marsha is the secretary of the Home Owners Association.  Marsha thinks the Home Owners Association needs to upgrade its computer systems.  So she established an Information Technology Committee. 

She decided to put Ivan on the committee because Barb is always telling Marsha how good Ivan is with computers.  That meant that Ivan had to get up early for the Monday morning coffee.  It was the first Monday morning coffee Ivan had ever attended.  These meetings are well attended by the homeowners, they usually bring in outside speakers and important things are discussed.  However, Barb plays Pickleball every morning and Ivan doesn’t like to wake up early.  So they have never gone to a Monday morning coffee.

After Monday morning coffee, the Information Technology Committee had their first meeting.  There were four other members who had very strong opinions as people often do who know something about computers.  So Ivan just sat and listened.  He didn’t have strong enough opinions to speak up.  The committee seemed to have things under control.  Ivan may not need to get up any more Monday mornings.

Paddling Ivan

Every day in Florida is Christmas for Barb.  She likes to order things on the computer to be delivered to the house because American companies offer free shipping.  Barb can’t resist a bargain.  So almost every day, Barb is getting something delivered in the mail.  The mail lady stops outside the house and honks her horn to tell Barb that she has a package for her.  Barb then runs out to the road to pick it up.  But because of the horn, everyone in the neighbourhood knows she just got a package.  Sally down the street is always jealous because Sally is a quilter too and Barb often gets new fabric in the mail.  This time Barb got a new Pickleball paddle in the mail.  Sally asked Barb if she broke her old one over Ivan’s head.  The mailman didn’t know who Ivan was because all the packages are for Barb.

Black Screen of Death

Barb leaves her computer running all the time.  She just closes the lid and it goes into sleep mode.  Then when she wants to use it, she opens the lid and clicks the mouse to start it up again.  Today, Barb got the black screen of death on her computer.  The computer had turned itself off and she couldn’t turn it back on.  Fortunately, I was up early that day and she was able to mention it me before she went off to Pickleball.  I looked up the problem on the web and found out how to reset the computer.  You had to unplug the computer and take out the battery.  Then plug it in again and hold down the start button for a few seconds.  When I reset the computer it worked again.  Barb always wonders what naive computer users do when they have these kinds of problems.

Crazy Coffee Disaster

Barb bought us a new coffee maker.  For some reason, I can not remember to put the pot on the burner after I fill the coffee maker and turn it on.  I had made the same mistake a number of times.  So the last time it happened, Barb was on the phone.  So I made the coffee.  Then the lawn man came to the door to give her the bill.  Meanwhile, the coffee was overflowing, spilling all over the counter and sizzling on the burner.  Barb couldn’t do everything at once.  She screamed for me to turn off the coffee maker.  When everything settled down, Barb decided that she would make the coffee from now on.

Spring Forward Sunburn

Daylight Savings came into effect this weekend.  Barb thought her latest sunburn playing Pickleball was caused by the change to daylight savings.  I tried to explain to her that daylight savings was exactly the opposite.  She was getting up an hour earlier to play Pickleball.  So she shouldn’t be in the sun as much.  We went over it a number of times before we finally agreed her sunburn must have been caused by something else.