Congrats

Barb got a "Congrats! Barb" graphic on pickle ball paddles in a graphic in Facebook from her new best friend Troy who makes these graphics that all her pickle ball friends share.  Barb just found out that he is the guy who makes them and he made one especially for her.

Sign

Laura got a real kick out of the sponsor on my fastball shirt.  Punkydoodle Corners Goat Milk.  I showed her where Punkydoodle Corners was on the way to my fastball game in Tavistock.  She took a number of pictures of me and her standing beside the town sign.  Then today I saw that someone had stolen the sign.  Laura was lucky the sign was still there when she was visiting.

Poop

We laughed at our neighbour putting plastic bags on the side mirrors of his car and truck because he said that birds sit on the mirror and look at themselves in the mirror and while they sit there they poop on his mirrors.  We thought that was such a stupid story.  Today I went out and found that a bird had pooped on the passenger mirror of Barb's car.

Bill Payments

Barb found out that she couldn't pay Laura's Fido bill because they didn't have the right postal code.  I guess when Laura set up the account she gave them the wrong postal code.  Barb could not guess the postal code that Laura gave them.  It is so stupid that they won't even let you pay your own bill.

Warranty

Barb's still clinching her teeth while she sleeps even though her old dentist told her she had reprogrammed her bite.  Today she broke one of her new $16,000 teeth.  Fortunately, they were still under warranty and she was able to get it replaced for free.  Actually the new dentist just charged it to her old dentist.

iPod

When I came back from Florida, I thought I had lost my little iPod Shuffle that I listen to Podcasts on.  But tonight I found it when I got back from St Catherines and unpacked my gym bag.

Madman

Barb won a gold in ladies and a bronze in mixed in the London pickle ball tournament.  She would have done better except she had to play against this guy named Adman who she calls Madman because he is so crazy.  They were leading by a large margin in their game against him and he started to go crazy yelling at his partner and yelling at himself.  It was really disruptive but because Barb thought it was a sure thing that they were going to win, she didn't think it was necessary to ask for a referee to come and get him under control. Anyway Madman and his partner came back to win and that put Barb and her partner out of the gold medal game.  Barb said she had never seen anything like his behaviour on the court.  He was absolutely berserk.

Barb Pulls a Barry

Our neighbour Barry was collecting our mail while we were in Florida and Barb was waiting for her new driver's license to come in the mail.  She asked Barry to look out for it and when it comes in the mail to forward it to her in Florida.  After a couple of months, Barry said it hadn't come. So Barb phoned the license bureau and they said it had been mailed on a certain date.  So she asked Barry to look for it again.  This time he found it and mailed it to her just before her temporary license expired.  Well Barb had been waiting for her new Mastercard to come in the mail.  She was using my Mastercard all this time.  So she phoned Mastercard and they said that all they could do is cancel her card and mail her a new one.  They said they could courier it but then when they found out we were in New Hamburg they said it would get there just as fast by normal mail.  So she waited a few days and it didn't come.  She was about to complain again when she noticed a strange letter in the pile of mail she had collected on the table.  It was her new card in a black envelope.  Then she looked harder at the mail on the table and found another black envelope which contained her replacement card and my replacement card.  There was nothing she could do now except change all the automatic payments coming out of her Mastercard to her new number.  It was a big hassle that could have been easily avoided if she had opened her mail promptly.

Awards

My work project was put on hold while I waited for them to read my draft report.  I didn't have anything to do.  Eventually, the boss lady asked me to help her write award nominations for people in her department.  She gave me the information and I wrote it up in the format they wanted.  I thought it was funny writing award nominations for people I didn't even know.

Sun

Barb went out on the porch to get some sun because in Canada she only plays pickle ball indoors and never gets any sun.  She went out for the first time and got stung by a bee.

Good Shot

Barb went to darts for the first time this summer and she made such a good shot that she hit her own dart and split it into pieces.  A nice lady fixed it for her so she didn't have to go out and buy a new set.

St Catherines

I went to watch the Early Bird Tournament in Niagara Falls that we played in last year.  I stayed at the same place in St Catherines that I stayed at last year.  Barb had taken the GPS.  So I had to find the place with Google Maps and my memory.  When I got there my iPad remembered the wifi password and automatically logged on for me.

Designated Hitter

In Canada, I don't play too much fastball.  I only coach but tonight we only had nine players. So I had to play my first game of the season.  I got 3 hits in 5 at bats and my best hit was a line drive that was caught by the pitcher.  The guys were kidding me saying I should come out of retirement and be the Designated Hitter.

Yanny and Laurel

There is a new controversy on the internet.  There is a recording in which some people hear the person say Yanny and some people hear the person say Laurel.  Obviously, Barb only heard Yanny and I only heard Laurel.  We could not be more different.

Mulligan

After we were finished at Cora's, Laura and I went to my sister's house.  We both met Mulligan, my sister's new dog.  He is a great little dog and has also had a difficult life with a number of health problems.  He follows my sister wherever she goes.  My brother in law made a great dinner for Laura on the barbecue that contained no water because Laura is allergic to their water.  Laura also took some great group pictures on her phone using the timer.  She was able to get us all in the picture and Mulligan too.

Cora's

Barb, Sarah and Laura and I went to the new Cora's in Kitchener to celebrate Laura's birthday and Mother's Day.  It was hard to find because it was inside a small mall.  But Barb was finally happy with it again.  She thought the server was so great.

Theatre

Sarah got tickets from a lady at work for the Rocky Horror Picture Show at Stratford and thought Laura and Barb could go to celebrate Laura's birthday and Mother's Day.  Sarah had a map of Stratford showing where to park and where the theatre was.  Barb had looked up the Stratford Theatre and I thought to check to make sure it was the right place because it seemed on the map that there were a number of theatres in Stratford.  I found out that there were three theatres but I couldn't find out which theatre was showing the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Eventually, after hunting through various newspaper articles online, I found out that the show was playing at the Avon Theatre.  Barb would have never found it and would have been late for the show.  In the end, she got there just in time.  She wanted to surprise Laura but Laura actually found the theatre because she saw a giant wall size poster advertising the show beside the theatre.

Snapchat

Sarah had a party with her friends in the party room of her apartment to celebrate 1000 consecutive days of Snapchatting with one of her friends.  Laura and I went to help her set up the room with balloons and set up tables for the food.  Laura decided to make a Pin the Tail on the Snapchat Ghost for them.  She had some yellow scrap paper that she had fortunately brought with her from some old tax forms that I gave her.  Laura did a great job.  We left when her friends started to show up and Sarah took some video of them playing Pin the Tail on the Ghost and we thought it was so funny to see the girls walking into corners of the room far away from the Ghost on the wall.

Negative Time

Barb uses the timer on her Android to count out her stretching before bed.  Tonight she was thinking that it was taking a long time for the alarm to go off and when she looked at the timer she found that it had gone into negative time.  A Twilight Zone experience.

Westjet

Laura had flown in and was flying out on Westjet and when she was here we found out that the Westjet pilots were going on strike next week.  She was very lucky not to have her flights cancelled.

Peanut Butter

Barb buys these little packages of Ritz Crackers with peanut butter between them.  Laura saw them in the cupboard and got out the peanut butter to put on them as if they were just Ritz Crackers.  When she found out that they already had peanut butter on them, she exclaimed "How did they know?"

Help

I helped Barb bring in the groceries from the car for the first time and I forgot to close the trunk of the car and I left the watermelon and the cantaloupe in the trunk.  You just can't get good help these days.

Wind

We had a major wind storm today that took the shingles off a number of houses in the neighbourhood.  Our next door neighbour lost some shingles but we didn't.  A couple of houses across the street from our house lost some shingles and we went for a drive around the rich retirement community and there were lots of houses with shingles missing and tarps over the roofs.  We were lucky I guess.

Phoenix Problem

When I was doing my taxes, the computer program that I was using wouldn't accept my T4 from the Phoenix government pay system.  It said that I needed to enter something in the pension adjustment box.  I looked up the problem and found out that I could use a work around by putting $0.01 in the box.  Then it worked and later I found out that other people in DND had noticed that same problem and the Phoenix people were working on the problem but they said that even though it was not my fault, I was still supposed to file my taxes on time.

Pool Lady

Barb decided to go to the community pool to continue doing her water aerobics.  An old lady was there and abruptly asked Barb if she was new in the park because she had never seen her before.  Barb thought she could have said hello first.

Doctor's Appointment

My doctor had moved to a new place since I was in Florida, 65 Bridgeport.  I wrote it on a little piece of paper but when I went to put the address in the GPS, I forgot I had written it on a little piece of paper and I tried to do it from memory. I put in 45 Bridgeport.  When I got to 45 Bridgeport, I realized that it was the wrong place.  So I drove around and found a place to look up the address on my cell phone email.  I couldn't find the email and so I drove around looking for the place because I knew what it looked like from the Google maps that I it looked up at home. Eventually, after driving around the block a few times I found the place.  Later when I was looking through my little pieces of paper, I found the one that I wrote the correct address on. 

Emergency

My car started the first time I tried to start it after being in the garage all winter.  I then transferred the SIM card to my Android just in case my car stalled while I was driving to my doctor's appointment and I had to call Barb to come and get me.  Then after I left for the doctor's appointment, Barb went to the pool to do her water aerobics. So if I had had an emergency, she wouldn't have been home to answer the phone anyways.

Barb's Strategy

Barb's strategy for picking players in the hockey pool draft was working and we were in first place after the first round of the playoffs.  Still she thought we could have done better if I had understood her strategy better before I picked some of my players.  We stayed up arguing about the picks and planning for next year until 3 am.  I tried to convince her that even if I had understood her strategy, it wouldn't have changed my picks because of the way the other people in the pool had picked their players.  Barb was hard to convince. In fact, I think she wasn't convinced, she just wanted to go to bed at 3 am.

Sound

We can now watch all the hockey games on the CBC website live.  Barb was calling Mastercard and tried to turn down the sound on the TV but it didn't work because the sound was coming out of the computer and not out of the TV.

My Mastercard

Barb was able to use my Mastercard and was able to get a new Health Card quickly at Service Ontario in New Hamburg.  She phoned Mastercard to get a new card and when she looked at mine she noticed that it was all scratched.  So she asked to get a new card for me too. Then the next day when she went to use my card, she found out that my card was cancelled.  We phoned Mastercard and asked them what happened and they said that after we called to get new cards, they had phoned us back to confirm our request and we didn't answer.  So they cancelled the cards.  After we confirmed that we really were who we said we were, they reinstated our cards.  Then Barb was able to use my card until our new cards came in the mail.

Mastercard Again

When we got home, Barb realized that she didn't have her Health Card or her Mastercard.  She must have left them in Florida in her underwear drawer.  She thought she put them in her passport but when she opened her passport she found her Bealls credit card and there are not even any Bealls stores in Canada.

OOMA

The man came and hooked up our cable again and we had internet right away but for some reason we didn't have any phone service.  We were going to phone OOMA our phone service to see if something was wrong.  Then I noticed that I had plugged the phone cable in the wrong side of the OOMA box.

Leak

When we arrived home, the first thing Barb did was turn on the water.  The second thing she did was message all her friends and family to tell them that she had arrived safe back in Canada.  We were both up until 3 am.  Barb was in the living room and I was in the television room.  When Barb decided it was time to go to bed, she came into the kitchen to get me and she stepped in a puddle of water.  There was a leak in a pipe under the sink.  Originally, Barb thought it was in the drain pipe because that had happened last year.  But when we looked under the sink we found it was leaking from a connection in the cold water pipe.  Barb quickly went and turned off the water again. Since it was Saturday night, we thought we would have another expensive plumber's visit on Sunday.  But on Sunday Barb disconnected the pipe that was causing the problem and brought it to the Home Hardware store in New Hamburg and bought a replacement and then when she put the new one on, the leak was gone.  She was told that it was probably the washer in the connection that had gotten old and brittle and that was why it was leaking.  So there was no need for an expensive plumber's visit.  In fact, we would have been embarrassed if a plumber had come in and solved the problem so easily.

Do Better

Barb noticed when we got home that Sarah had written DO BETTER on a note and stuck it to the wall in the hall.  Then she wrote a Tweet about how she found a Easter egg from last year when she was hiding eggs this year and she thought we should Do Better.

Guessing

When Barb got home from the US Open, she wanted to share the tattoos with the girls.  So she group messaged them and told them that she got her first tattoo but didn't tell them where.  She made them guess.  She had great fun teasing them when they couldn't guess and when they got mad at her for not telling them.  Finally, Julia guessed it was her eyebrows but didn't tell anyone other than Barb.  Then Laura guessed it was eyebrows because she knew something about tattoos and the things Barb was saying about playing pickleball and covering her tattoos with vasoline were just not done to normal tattoos but were done to micro-blading.  Sarah couldn't guess and got really mad about it.  Barb was doing all this messaging when she should have been packing because we were leaving for Canada the next day at 3 am.

Sisters

Barb was looking closer at her new eyebrows and wasn't happy with them because they weren't symmetrical.  She phoned the tattoo lady to complain and the lady told her that that is to be expected.  Her new eyebrows were 'sisters' not 'twins'.

Eyebrows

Barb had some friends over to play games and while they were playing a game Barb complemented one of the ladies on her eyebrows and the lady said they were actually tattoos.  Barb was surprised because they looked so real.  She found out that there is a lady in the Villages that comes down from New York.  She is World famous for tattooing movie stars and other famous people.  So Barb got her number and called her and made an appointment to get her eyebrows tattooed.  Barb has always been distressed by her lack of eyebrows because she plucked them too much when she was in high school.  Barb got the tattoos done and when she came home I made fun of her that she looked like Groucho Marx.  But I said I could get used to them.  Barb said that they would fade with time.  Barb had a great laugh with her friend who told her about the tattoo lady and she sent some photos to her with her new eyebrows covered with a bandana.

Tim Hortons

I went for coffee with Stan at the Tim Hortons at work and there were three lines instead of one.  I didn't know what was going on because I ordered a coffee, a bagel and a muffin and when I was served they each came from a different line.

Alarm

I set my alarm on my Android and when it went off in the morning I went to grab it and turn it off and I dropped the phone on the floor and it slide under the bed.  Then when I went to reach for the phone under the bed, I fell out of bed with a cramp in my leg.

Music

I wanted to share my Music with Julia and so I brought a memory stick with me with all my music on it.  I plugged it into her XBox and copied my music over but when I tried to play it, the music didn't play.  I couldn't figure out why the music wouldn't play.  So I looked it up and found out I needed to create a file called Music on her system and put my music in it.  I created a file called Music and moved my music into the file and it played fine.

Cell Phone

When I arrived in Ottawa, I tried to text Julia and my phone wouldn't work.  I had turned off my SIM card in the States because I didn't want to get roaming charges.  I turned on the SIM card but the phone didn't work.  Anyway Julia found me in the airport okay and as we were driving to her place Julia said I should check to see if Airplane Mode was turned on.  And it was.  When I turned off Airplane Mode, the phone worked fine.

Yoga

Barb was keen to try yoga at the community center.  She thought it would help her sore knee.  She even went out and bought a yoga mat.  She went to her first class and was doing one of the positions and her knee started to hurt and then the instructor lady said don't do this position if you have bad knees.  But she said it after everyone was already in the position and it was too late for Barb and her knee was even worse now than before she went to the class.

Mastercard

I phoned Mastercard today to ask about something and they wanted to know my card number and expiry date.  So since I was still in my pajamas instead of getting my wallet out my pants in the bedroom, I looked it up on my piece of paper that I keep my important information.  I read the card number and the expiry date and then I noticed that something must be wrong because the expiry date was long past.  I quickly realized that I hadn't updated my piece of paper when I got a renewed card.  So I said that I would have to go and get my card.  The man said yes you better.  It is kind of important.

Old Address

Barb buys a lot of stuff online in the US because she gets cheap or free shipping.  I guess she bought two packages of wool.  The first package arrived normally and she was wondering where the second package was.  So she looked it up online and it said that it had been delivered.  Then she noticed that it had been delivered to our old address in Avon Park.  So she messaged the new owner Frank and Frank had already delivered the package to my sister's house for her to bring to us when she visits.

Pink Grapefruit

I picked some grapefruit from the tree in the backyard and made some juice.  For some reason, I thought our grapefruit tree had pink grapefruit and so did Barb but this year the grapefruit was yellow.  It was funny that we both made the same mistake.