Barb Was Furious

We went to see Laura's pole competition in Toronto.  We waited all day until Laura's event at the very end of the program.  When Laura did her routine, which she was very worried about, it went great.  The fans were screaming because they loved it so much.  After her performance the people in front of us turned and told us that she was great and should definitely win.  Another competitor came up to Barb and told Barb how great Laura was and how she did just everything perfectly.  When Laura came back to sit with us, the guy sitting beside her said that now he has something else to like her for not just her hair.  When they announced the winners, Laura came third and Barb was furious.  The winner and the second place finisher had done very simple routines and were not exciting.  The audience didn't cheer them at all.  Laura told us that the event had a strange scoring system.  Everyone starts with 10 points and then the judges subtract points for every mistake the performer makes.  The winner and second place finisher did very simple routines without many challenging moves.  So they didn't lose many points.  Laura did a huge number of very difficult moves that no one else was able to do but Laura said she could have had better form and that is why she may have lost points.  Barb was furious and could barely contain her anger on the drive home and for the rest of the weekend.

Videotron

Sarah took us all to the Labour Day football game in Hamilton for my birthday.  My Dad used to take me and Jimmy Parkins to the Labour Day football game every year for my birthday when I was a boy.  Somehow Sarah always gets great seats.  Much better than the seats my Dad used to get.  The game was between the Hamilton Tiger-Cats and the Toronto Argonauts.  On the first series of plays in the game Hamilton brought the ball down the field and scored a touchdown.  We thought it would be a good day.  Then when Toronto got the ball on their first play they scored a touchdown on the long pass and run play.  And it didn't seem so good anymore.  The next day Daphne sent me an email with a quote from one of Karen Watson's friends.  It said that her friend was at the football game too and she saw us on the videotron.  She recognized Laura because she had met her at Daphne's house the previous weekend and she said that the person sitting beside her must have been me.  She had never met me and didn't know what I looked like.

iPod Case

I was trying to find a cable for something and started to organize the basket beside my big blue chair where I keep all my electronic stuff.  I dropped my iPod Touch case and an Easter Egg fell out.  Sarah always tells us we haven't found all the Easter Eggs she hides but Barb always thinks she has found them all and is always wrong.

Pants Down

Barb pulled into the parking lot at the pickleball club and saw the Wealthy Barber in the car beside her.  She waved at him but he stayed in his car for quite a while.  Then she realized he was changing in his car into his shorts to play pickleball in.  She had caught the Weathly Barber with his pants down.

Money

I am very lucky finding money on the ground.  When I was at Carleton University I found an envelope with $440 in it.  And when I lived in Cederview in Ottawa I found a $100 bill while walking to my ball game.  I found a $20 bill on the bus in Ottawa and another time I found a $5 bill on the steps getting on a bus.  I am always looking down to make sure I don't stumble over something on the ground.  Because of that I find money all the time.  I even dream of finding money on the ground quite often.  Today on my walk in the park I found a $10 bill and considered myself very lucky again.

Turtle Eggs

When I walk around the park there is a little part of the grass beside the path roped off with a sign saying do not disturb Turtle Eggs.  It says that the eggs should hatch at the end of August.  But by now that date had long passed and there is no sign that the turtle eggs have hatched.  Finally today in mid-September they took down the little roped off area and I guess they gave up on the baby turtles.

Shout Out

Barb was watching the pickleball tournament from the Huntsman Senior Games in Utah.  As she was watching she got a message from her friend Cindy who said she and her husband Willy were watching the tournament too and heard the commentator give a shout out to Barb Taylor in Canada.

Sarah's Computer

I have tried to fix Sarah's computer and have found that it seems to work now that I have done a Windows update.  I tried to save her files on my external hard drive but I couldn't find the second USB port to plug in my mouse and I got very frustrated trying to use the finger pad mouse thingy.

Canadian Tire

Barb can now bring her phone with wherever she goes.  She never brought her old phone because the battery would die when she was out.  She is finding having a phone with her is very useful.  Today she hooked up the Canadian Tire wifi to look up the reviews on hair clippers before she bought a new set.  Barb doesn't trust anyone to cut her hair and so she cuts it herself.

Public Speaking

Barb was playing pickleball with her friends and they had brought a new friend who was new to pickleball and Barb was showing him how to play and explaining the rules.  After they finished playing, Barb was sitting with the guy who said his name was Dave.  Dave had to leave because he had a meeting.  Barb asked him what he did for a living.  He said he did a little public speaking.  Barb said that makes sense because you talk very well.  After he left Barb's friend said you know who that is don't you.  Barb said no and her friend said that is Dave Chilton.  It still didn't click for Barb and then her friend said Dave is the Wealthy Barber.  Barb said Oh My God my husband has read all the Wealthy Barber books.  Barb thought is was so funny that he said he did a little public speaking and Barb had told him that he spoke well.

Surprise

Laura was doing some very suspicious things at the ball park.  She took away my french fries and wouldn't let me eat them.  After the games were over, she said we should look at what was going on at the other diamond.  But you could see that nothing was going on at the other diamond because they had already turned the lights off on that diamond.  She led me out in the dark and then Sarah and Ali started singing Happy Birthday.  They had come all the way from Guelph and brought a whole dinner for all of us.  That was why Laura took away my french fries.  She knew Sarah and Ali had brought dinner and they were waiting in the dark at a picnic table beside the other diamond.  It was a cold and wet night but it was a great surprise to see them and they were so nice to bring dinner in their picnic basket that they got as a wedding gift.

Facebook

In the morning of my birthday, Larry Cox the former manager of the Shakespeare Falcons was in Mitchell watching a few games in the tournament and saw me and wished me a Happy Birthday.  I thought to myself that he must have been on Facebook early in the morning before he left for the park.

Monsters

We were watching the Nith River Monsters from New Hamburg at the Mitchell tournament but their jersey was hard to read and Laura thought they were the New Hamburg Hamsters.

Number 7

We were watching the Mitchell Mets playing and noticed when they pulled the pitcher number 7 they brought in a new pitcher who was also number 7.  Then we realized the team didn't have enough jerseys and the pitchers had to share the same jersey.

Norm

Laura and I went to a fastball tournament in Mitchell to celebrate my birthday.  We were watching the Shakespeare Falcons and their best fan had brought his little dog who likes to watch the games with him.  The dog's name is Norm and I introduced Norm to Laura.  I didn't know the owner's name though so I couldn't introduce him to Laura.  Norm watches the game closely and chases the ball whenever the catcher misses the pitch or there is a foul ball that goes to the screen.  He jumps at the ball but of course he can't catch it because he is behind the screen but that doesn't stop Norm from jumping each time the ball comes his way.

Pillows

I was going to bed and checked Laura's room to make sure she was home before I locked the door.  It looked like she was in bed and asleep.  But somehow I realized it was just her pillows and unmade bed that made it look like she was in bed.  She was still out.  So I had to go back and unlock the front door.

Capital One

Barb paid in US dollars for the Virtual Private Network software.  For some reason she used her Costco Capital One credit card.  She was mad at herself for not using her Bank of America card.  Then she wanted to check how much extra she had to pay for the exchange from Canadian to US dollars.  It looked like there was no extra charge.  We couldn't believe it because Mastercard charges 2.75% for an exchange.  I thought that maybe they would charge her later but the never did and we looked up on their website and it said they didn't charge for US dollar exchanges.  Barb thought it might be better to use the card when we are in the US because we get cash back when we use the Capital One card.

United Kingdom

I was video chatting with Stan and when I was finished I came into the television room while Laura and Barb were looking very suspicious.  Laura was working on Barb's computer and Barb said she thought they might doing something terrible to the computer.  Laura didn't want to be interrupted and was concentrating really hard.  It turned out that Laura had purchased a Virtual Private Network for Barb's computer and set it up so it would look like Barb was in the United Kingdom.  Then Laura subscribed Barb to a free month of Amazon Prime UK so that Barb could watch the US Open Tennis Tournament.

Dead Animal

Barb and Laura went out to see the guys changing the bulb on the street light and thought they saw a dead animal on the road beside the house but when they took a closer look they found that it was only a dirty rag that the guy who was changing the bulb on the street light must have dropped.

Put a Ring On It

Barb got a another new Android phone and Laura set it up for her.  Barb wanted an easy way to hold it like Laura has and so she bought a ring to stick on the back of the phone.  Then she found that she couldn't text and use the ring at the same time.  So then she bought another ring and put it a little lower on the phone.  Now she could text with the new ring but she now has two rings on the back of her phone.

Plumbing

Laura and I were driving out the park and saw a truck in a neighbour's drive way with the words Flood's Plumbing written on the side.  We thought that was a pretty bad name for a plumbing company.

Hole

Laura was sleeping on an air mattress in my study while she was staying with us.  One morning she woke up on the floor and realized that the air mattress had a hole in it.  We had another smaller air mattress.  So we gave that to Laura but she had to fill it up with a foot pump.  Neither her or I could figure out how it worked.  Laura took hours to fill it with air.

Playoffs

I had missed two Red Sox playoff games while I was in Wisconsin.  When I got back home we had a playoff game and I was coaching 1st base.  We were down 5-1 in the 7th inning and I took off my jacket and said to Laura maybe this will change our luck like a rally cap.  We scored 4 runs and took the game into extra innings.  Then in the 8th inning, we went on to win the game.  I was so happy.

Road

On the way home from Wisconsin we took a different way than we came on.  We drove north over Lake Michigan and across to Canada at Saulte Ste Marie.  We saw a sign that said Million Dollar Road.  When we drove by we saw a dirt road with old broken down tractors on each side of the road.

Goody

I met my friend Mike Goodfellow from Ottawa who was running the Ottawa Legends team.  He said it was never hard to find me if I was with Laura because Laura stood out in a crowd.  He does screen printing and he gave Laura and I all kinds of neat jerseys for free.  He gave me a hat which had an O on it but it was hard to tell if the O meant Ottawa or Ohio.

Pole

Laura wanted to take a picture of herself on the flag pole.  I didn't think it was good idea.  It had rained a lot and I thought the flag pole would be wet and I was worried she might do some upside down move and slip off and hurt herself.  But she pulled on her special rubber sticky pant suit and I took a quick picture of her up on the flag pole beside the field.  Only one person seemed to notice her and he was one of the ball players warming up on the sideline of the field.  He didn't seem to know what was going on.

Boomerang

I came down to the gym to see Laura and walk on the treadmill.  I was wearing shorts and the new sleeveless shirt that I bought with the team logo on it.  Laura took a speeded up video of me walking on the treadmill and lifting weights at the same time in my sleeveless shirt.  She set it up in boomerang mode so it repeated over and over again.  So it looked like I was lifting the weights for a long time.  When she showed the video to the guys on the team, they all laughed and laughed.

Work Out

Laura went to the gym in the hotel to work out and lift weights.  It was a small room with lots of equipment in it and one by one all the guys on the team walked by on the way to the pool.  They all saw Laura in there working out.  So they went in to talk to her.  They all tried to do the same exercises as Laura was doing and had a lot of trouble lifting the weights.

Free Coffee

At the local McDonalds the coffee was free.  So when we went in to McDonalds to get something for Laura to eat, the first think I did was order a coffee while I was waiting.  It turned out that I got the last coffee and they had actually completely run out of coffee and couldn't even put on another pot.  As I was waiting, person after person came in and ordered a coffee and one after another they couldn't believe they had run out of coffee.

Blow

We were listening to my music USB stick and a Pink song came on.  The display said the song was called I Think I Finally Had Enough Blow.  Laura said what the hell is that.  Then when the song started we realized that the display had cut off the end of the title.  The real title was I Think I Finally Had Enough, Blow Me One More Kiss.

24 Hours

I was telling Laura on the way back to the hotel after a long day at the ballpark that I wanted to go to Diary Queen across the road from the hotel.  Laura thought I was joking and didn't believe that it would be open after midnight.  She didn't know that I was serious and I knew it was open 24 hours.  She took me there and I had a banana split.

Cheese State

Wisconsin is known as the Cheese State.  They even sell deep fried cheese curds at the restaurants.  But we couldn't believe it when they ran out of cheese when Laura tried to order a cheeseburger at the food kiosk at the park.

Party

Laura and I had a joke that we told every morning as we were leaving the hotel for the ballpark.  Laura said, like the great philosopher Pink said, "Let's get this party started!"

Run

I had a lot of friends playing on the Ottawa Legends team in the over 50 tournament.  We were hanging around with them and there were some ladies talking about how they were still pretty good players but they can't run very fast.  According to her they "run like dirt".

Assistant

Laura knew the photographer from last year's World Tournament in Kitchener but he was complaining to her about how annoying the assistant photographer that they had hired was.  We found out that although he said he was a professional photographer, his real job was at the local McDonalds.  Of course, he recognized Laura when we went through the drive thru and stopped us to chat as we were leaving.  He wasn't embarrassed at all.  We told the head photographer and he told us that there was something we should know that he had just found out.  Every year there is Special Olympics game for the disabled kids in the community hosting the tournament.  I guess the assistant photographer asked if he could do the photography at the Special Olympics game because it meant so much to him because he had some Special Olympics medals himself.

McDonalds

I was sitting on the toilet in the McDonalds and it was a family washroom.  Beside the toilet was a changing table for parents who had to change diapers.  Except someone had scratched out the 'C' and the sign on it said Baby hanging Table.

Free French Fries

We went to a restaurant near the park called Rookies which offered free french fries for ball players in the tournament.  So we ordered some pops and french fries and popcorn chicken.  When the waitress came by to ask us how everything was, we said good and then to show Laura what I had been talking about I asked the waitress just out of curiosity if we asked for vinegar for our french fries would you know what we meant.  And the girl just looked so confused.

Shuttle

We got to the fastball diamond in Denmark Wisconsin and parked our car in the parking lot across from the entrance.  I guess they had a shuttle service for all the old guys who couldn't walk from the parking lot to the park.  The shuttle service was run by five and six year old boys in golf carts.  They were real life country boys.  They had walkie talkies and little lawn chairs to sit in to direct traffic in the parking lot and order shuttle service.

Wisconsin

When we got to the hotel in Wisconsin, we saw the guys in the back parking lot playing can-jam where teams of two guys play a game with a frisbee and a little bucket and the point of the game to throw the frisbee to your partner in a way that he can jam it into the bucket in one move.  Laura loved playing it with the guys and slayed them in an eleven overtime game when she threw the frisbee through the little slot in the bucket for extra points.

Touch Screen

Barb's car has the ability to play music from a memory stick but you have to control it from a touch screen.  While Laura was driving I was trying to control the music on the touch screen.  I was trying to find an album to listen to but whenever I tried to push the button we went over a bump and I pushed the wrong button.  And I kept saying Oops not that one and oops we went over a bump.

Coffee Creamer

The coffee machine was at the back of the store and I filled up my cup with coffee.  Then I looked around for creamer.  There was a pump bottle of Coffee Mate on the counter and I tried pumping it a number of times but nothing was coming out.  So I lifted it up and signaled to the cashier that he was out of Coffee Mate.  While he was coming with the Coffee Mate, I noticed the little cups of milk and cream in the fridge beside the coffee counter.  The cashier was opening the Coffee Mate and setting it up in front of me while I was filled my cup with milk from the refrigerator.  I got confused and started opening the little cups of milk and then instead of throwing out the little containers I was pouring the milk out of the container into the garbage can beside the coffee counter and then throwing out the container.  Laura was watching me do this and I noticed what I was doing right in front of the cashier.  All of a sudden we both started laughing hysterically.  The cashier had no idea what we were laughing about.  He never noticed what I was doing.  I almost fell down I was laughing so hard.

Washroom

We stopped on our way to Wisconsin to go pee and I came out first and there was a lady waiting outside the ladies washroom which Laura was in.  I asked the lady to tell the girl that comes out that I have just gone out to the car to get my coffee mug.  The lady told Laura when she came out that the gentleman had just gone out to get his coffee mug. Gentleman?

Wind

The day before Laura and I were planning to leave for Wisconsin, I was moving my fastball stuff from the car to the SUV.  It was a windy day and I had my head in the trunk of my car and the hood kept blowing down and hitting me in the back.  It was very annoying.  So I had moved almost everything over and then I had one more small thing to get.  So I reached over the side of the car into the trunk instead of going around to the back of the car.  The wind blew the hood down and it hit me in the side of the head and knocked off my glasses and the arm of my glasses broke off.  So we quickly checked online and found out that the store where I bought the glasses was open for another hour.  So I rushed to Kitchener wearing my one armed glasses.  I got there in time and the lady looked up my records and said that my glasses where still under warranty.  That was great because the frames cost over $400.  Unfortunately, they didn't have any replacement frames in stock and would have to order them.  She said leave your glasses here and we will call you when they are fixed.  I said no that won't work because I am going to Wisconsin tomorrow morning.  So she took my glasses into the back room for a few minutes and came back with the frames scotch taped together.  She said she would order the parts and call me when I get back.

Button

Laura went to Barb's pickleball to tape her playing so Barb could see what she is doing right and what she is doing wrong.  While Laura was there, she found a Mischief and Mayhem button from her acrobatic team in the lost and found.  I guess Barb had put in on her pickleball bag and it had fallen off and Barb had never noticed.

Gluing

I guess the gluing of the back on the quilt didn't work as they expected.  So Barb had to take it all off and start over.  She decided that instead of doing the spray gluing on the kitchen table like last time, she and Laura would take the quilt down to the arts and craft room in the community center where they have a really big table.  Laura took a fast motion of her and Barb unfolding the quilt and spraying the backing and then refolding it then posted it on Facebook.  It was quite funny to see.

Spare Ribs

One of Barb's specialties is spare ribs and Laura really likes them. So the first night Laura was here, Barb made spare ribs.  She was so excited to see what Laura thought of them.  Then she realized that she had used tap water to make the sauce and the rice and Laura is allergic to our water.  Barb was so upset.  Fortunately, she just pulled a package of pre-cooked spare ribs out of the fridge and was able to heat them in the oven and make more rice so Laura could have spare ribs like us.

Walking

I was walking around the kitchen in my slippers like I do every day but today my slippers were sticking to the floor and they were making a lot of noise.  I had never noticed that happening before and I asked Barb what it could be.  Then Barb and Laura realized that they had been spray gluing the backing on her big quilt on the kitchen table and I guess the spray glue had gone all over the kitchen.

Battery?

I was doing a video chat with my friend Stan and he had to use his cellphone because he was having problems with his computer.  Then the phone cut out.  I thought his phone must have died.  In a few minutes, he came back online and told me that it wasn't his battery that actually he had run out of data.  So he had quickly bought some supplemental data so that we could finish our chat.

Fire Flies

My friend Stan was telling me one week about how he saw a lot of fire flies in his back yard one night when he was outside with his telescope.  The next day I ran across an article in my Scientific American newsletter explaining why there were so many more fire flies this year than in past years.  I sent it to him and he wrote back one word, Enlightening.

Barrhaven Children's Softball

Laura told me she was in Vancouver and heard someone call her name.  She looked around and saw this guy who said he remembered her from when she played on the same team as him in the Barrhaven Children's Softball League that I coached.  That was when she was in 6th grade.  He said he remembered how she would take off her batting helmet and her spiked hair would pop back up.

iPad

I often read my email on my iPad in bed in the dark so I don't disturb Barb.  Tonight I couldn't get to sleep.  So I thought I would read my email on my iPad but I had left my iPad in the television room.  So I got out of bed but didn't turn on the lights and tried to find my iPad in the dark.  I walked straight into the wall and hit my head hard and made a loud noise which I thought might have woken Barb and I would have been better to turn on the lights in the first place.