Our handyman, Steve, hasn’t responded to the texts that Barb sent him. Barb said, “He is good at not communicating. I said, “It is funny you said it that way and not that ‘he is not good at communicating’”. I guess she wanted to say it in a positive way.
I told Barb the story of not being able to send my Christmas letter to my Community Watch friend because I thought he might take offense at my comments on the situation in the US. Barb said, "Why don’t you just edit the letter?" How did I not think of that myself? So tonight, I deleted the problem sentences.
I also looked up Dad Jokes online and found a website with 301 of them, and they were hilarious, but just too many. I sent those to the Community Watch friend and to Laura and Julia. Barb didn’t think they were funny, which made me laugh even harder.
Talk about the simple pleasures of life. Barb got me to vacuum the house with her new battery-powered vacuum cleaner, which has a clear plastic dirt collection container. I vacuumed, and then we looked through the clear plastic and saw so much dirt. Then we emptied the container into the garbage, and Barb said that it was the most she had ever seen, and I must have done a good job. It felt so good.
Barb wanted me to power-wash the mould off the back patio before the people came to put up my screens. I got to wear my new bathing suit for the first time while I power-washed. I had to move my chairs around to do the job, and I moved my broom. When I looked closely at the broom, I saw a little brown frog sitting on the handle. So, I moved it very carefully so as not to disturb him.
Every day I wear compression socks for my diabetes. They are always falling, and I have to pull them up. Also, I have to put on my socks before my jeans because I have to pull up my pants' legs to get the socks all the way up. And if I put my jeans on first and then put my socks on, the socks will fall when I pull my pants' legs down. Sometimes I forget to put on my socks first and then put on my jeans. Then I remember my socks, and I have to take my jeans off again and put my socks on first.
Barb bought a couple of big slices of pizza for dinner at Sam’s deli. They were just pepperoni, but they were so greasy that I got grease all over my hands. After dinner, I was waiting for Barb to wash her hands, and I tried to crush my Diet Coke can before I threw it in the garbage. Because my hand was greasy, the can shot out of my hand when I squeezed it, and it flew across the kitchen.
Barb picked up another girl when she went to pickleball tonight. On the way home, the lady asked Barb how old she was, and Barb said 67. The lady said WHAT? You look great. Do you get Botox?
Our washing machine gets out of balance every time Barb does laundry. When it gets out of balance, it makes a noise like a jet plane in our outdoor shed. Barb has to run out, turn it off in the middle of the rinse cycle, then wait five minutes for it to unlock before she can open it and take some laundry out to balance it.
Today, Barb bought me a lovely new bathing suit so I wouldn’t be jealous. I gave her a fashion show.
I went from my standing desk to sitting on my office chair. Then I picked up my full glass of water. I accidentally jiggled it and spilled some water on my keyboard. The last time I did that, I had to buy a new computer. So, I tried to get the water out from under the keys by pushing them over and over. Every time I pressed the Delete and Backspace keys, a little drop of water came out. I did it for some other keys, but the Delete was the worst. I think I got all the water out because the Delete and Backspace keys still work. Whose stupid idea was it to put those keys right beside each other? If they were both broken, the computer would probably be completely useless.
I saw my Community Watch friend on my evening walk tonight, and we had a good chat. He told me about 10 Dad Jokes, but I had heard them all. He kept shaking his head. I asked him for his email address and said I would send him my Christmas letter. So, I sat down tonight and started writing an email, then realized I had made a few political comments in it and thought it might not be a good idea to send him the letter. I also told him I would look up some new Dad Jokes for him. That might be a better plan.
